


Let me love the lonely

by Holtzmann1998, Queenofcolors



Series: Songfic2 [3]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Depression, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-30 15:45:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10879944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holtzmann1998/pseuds/Holtzmann1998, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofcolors/pseuds/Queenofcolors
Summary: Holtzmann will stick by Erin's side





	Let me love the lonely

**Author's Note:**

> This song was a request  
> Frankie.r  
> Let me love the lonely by James Arthur, Holtzbert pls ❤️  
> (I'm so sorry I'm doing this so late I've been so busy I'm sorry)

**~~~~(You laugh at all the jokes**  
**Even the ones you know**  
**Funny I'm doing that, too**  
**I love the crowded room**  
**The one string that's out of tune**  
**Trust me, I feel like I do)**

“Holtz!” Erin let out a cry as she stood in front of the bathroom sink, blood rushing down her legs and onto the floor. Her hands started to shake in fear and tears started to fall down her cheeks. Her hand went to her pregnant stomach and she gently started rubbing it. Holtzmann rushed into the bathroom and froze at the sight of Erin, who stared catatonically into space. Holtzmann walked slowly towards Erin, grabbing her hand.

“What's happening?” Erin croaked out. Holtzmann stayed quiet as she lead Erin to the car. She rubbed Erin’s hand as she drove down the street. Holtzmann helped Erin out of the car as they rushed to the front desk. The nurse called for a doctor and a wheelchair. Two nurses came rushing towards them, rolling in a wheelchair and then rushed Erin off to the back. Holtzmann paced back and forth in the waiting room, her face stained with tears. A tall man in a white doctor's coat walked into the waiting room, calling out Holtzmann's name. She rushed over to him.

“Your wife is going to be okay. It seems that she has had a miscarriage.” The doctor said in a low voice that made Holtzmann's heart sink.

“Can I see her?” Holtzmann’s voice was low and strained. The man nodded and, with tears in her eyes, she followed behind him. Her head hung low as she passed the empty hospital rooms. When they arrived at Erin’s room, her legs began to wobble and her breathing began to quicken at the sight of the pale, sleeping Erin. She walked slowly towards her and once she was close enough, she grasped her hand and rubbed it slowly. Erin slowly opened her eyes.

“Is the baby okay?” Erin eyes were filled with hope as she stared into Holtzmann's blue eyes. Holtzmann stayed silent.

“Holtzmann...is the baby okay?” Holtzmann looked down at the ground as tears fell from her eyes.

“No..I'm sorry.” Erin wrapped her arms around Holtzmann burying her face in the crook of her neck as she let out a loud sob. Holtzmann patted her back softly as tears ran down her face.

“In a situation like this, we normally refer the couples who had miscarriages to a therapist.” the doctor said as he scribbled on a piece of paper on his clipboard. He ripped off the paper. It had a list of therapists on it. He handed it to the crying Holtzmann before  exiting. A nurse entered with a wheelchair as he left.

The car ride was silent. Erin's head rested on the window, her face pale and stained with tears. Holtzmann's eyes were locked on the road, her mind swirled with dark thoughts. Holtzmann pulled into the driveway and the two sat in silence for a moment. Holtzmann looked over at Erin and gave her a small smile. Erin laced her hands with Holtzmann's and she wiped her tears from her eyes.

“Um..I have to finish fixing Patty’s proton pack.” Erin nodded and slowly walked out of the car.

 **(Let me love the lonely out of you**  
**Let me love the pain you're going through**  
**I think I've saved myself by saving you**  
**Let me love the lonely out of you)**

Holtzmann moved sluggishly as she walked inside the firehouse. Her body felt heavy, her legs felt weak, and her body was hunched over. Holtzmann shuffled passed a tired Patty, who was holding a cup of coffee. Patty scrunched up her face and tilted her head at the uncharacteristic action of Holtzmann. She followed slowly behind Holtzmann as she went upstairs and watched her sit down at her workbench and stare catatonically into space.

“Holtz, baby, are you okay?” Patty walked slowly towards Holtzmann, wrapping her arms around her. Holtzmann buried her face in the crook of her neck and let out a loud sob. Patty rubbed her back slowly.

“Erin lost the baby.” Holtzmann said as she pulled Patty closer to her, allowing her warm tears to run down her face and onto Patty’s neck.

“I'm so sorry.” Patty rocked Holtzmann back and forth, rubbing her back gently. The room fell silent for a moment. For once, Patty was at a lost for words. She gave Holtzmann one last hug and walked away, leaving Holtzmann with her thoughts.

 **(Lighthouse without the lights**  
**You smile without your eyes**  
**I know, 'cause I do that too**  
**Your own worst enemy**  
**You think that no one sees**  
**I do, 'cause I'm like that too)**

It had been two weeks since Erin’s miscarriage.

Holtzmann sat on her workbench, her mind swirling with dark thoughts. Her breathing became heavy. Holtzmann laid her head down on the cold metal desk, letting her dark thoughts consume her. Tears started to run down her cheeks.

“Holtzmann, are you okay?” Abby walked in as Holtzmann lifted her head up and wiped away her tears. Abby walked over to Holtzmann, wrapping her arms around her.

“You need to go home and be with Erin.” Holtzmann shook her head.

“Holtz, think about Erin and how she must be feeling right now.” Holtzmann lifted up her head and wiped away the new tears as she looked up at Abby, who gave her a small smile.

“Everything is fine with Erin and I have it under control.” Holtzmann lied. Everything wasn't fine between her and Erin. Holtzmann hadn't really been home, she had been sneaking in late at night and then sneaking out early in the morning to avoid Erin. It wasn't like Holtzmann didn't want to see or talk to Erin, she just didn't know how. Holtzmann flashed Abby a charming smile to mask her anxiety and fears, fooling Abby enough to get her off her back. Abby gave her one last hug.

“Well, that's good. You two should at least see a therapist about it.” Abby left the room, leaving Holtzmann to a quiet and empty space. Holtzmann let out aloud sound as her thoughts crept back into her mind. What if Erin hates you? What if Erin wants a divorce? Erin probably can't wait to leave you alone! Holtzmann’s thoughts yelled at her. Tears started to fill her eyes once more.

 **(Let me love the lonely out of you**  
**Let me love the pain you're going through**  
**I think I've saved myself by saving you**  
**Let me love the lonely out of you)**

Erin laid wrapped up in the covers on the bed. Her face was red and puffy, stained from the tears. Tissues covered the bedroom floor. Erin set her bare feet on the hardwood floor, she slowly shuffled her feet moving towards the bathroom. Erin stood in front of the mirror she slowly lifted her T-shirt and placed her hands on her stomach dragging her fingertips across her empty belly letting out sorrowful sigh she placed her hands on the bathroom sink turning on the faucet cupping the water in her hand and then splashed the cold water across her face.

She looked up at the mirror, watching the water drip off her face as tears started to fall again. She let out a loud scream and dropped down to her knees, covering her face with her hands as she let out a hyperventilating cry. Erin wobbled as she got back up on her feet, her face red and puffy from her crying. She wiped her tears away and let out a loud sigh.

Erin shuffled towards the bedroom, her stomach growling with hunger. She clinched her stomach and shook her head as she shuffled towards the bed. She crawled slowly into the bed, wrapping her body up in the blankets. Erin laid motionless, her eyes feeling heavy from the sleepless nights and her head pounded from hunger. She stared blankly at the white wall as her minded became clouded with dark thoughts. It's all your fault! You killed the baby! Holtzmann hates you now! You've ruined everything! Holtzmann will definitely leave you now! Erin’s thoughts screamed at her as tears started to rolled down her face.

 **(Oh, we can light a fire to warm our bones, yeah**  
**This world's much too cold to sleep alone)**

Holtzmann sat slumped on her workbench, her shoulders hunched over. She had dark circles under her eyes, her head pounded from exhaustion. Holtzmann hands twiddled busily, snipping away at the wires on the old proton gun. Her mind started to wander off as intrusive thoughts crept into her mind. Don't go home, Erin doesn't want to see you! Erin hates you! You'll never find happiness! You've ruined your only chance of happiness! A soft knock pulled Holtzmann out of her thoughts.

“Holtz, honey, it's really late I think you should start heading home.” Patty voice was soft and filled with concern as she walked over to Holtzmann. Holtzmann looked up at her with her tear stained eyes, shook her head, and went back to work.

“Holtz, baby, Erin needs you and you need her.” Patty tugged on Holtzmann arms, pulling her off the bench and dragging her outside. Holtzmann felt the cold winter air hit her pale skin as Patty pushed her into a taxi that drove towards her home.

 **(Let me love the lonely out of you**  
**Let me love the pain you're going through**  
**I think I've saved myself by saving you**  
**Let me love the lonely out of you)**

Erin rolled slowly off the bed, shuffling her feet as she walked down the steps. She walked slowly towards the kitchen, pulling out supplies for making a sandwich. She sat down at the kitchen table and let out a loud sigh. Erin sat quietly stared out of the kitchen window, watching the sun slowly set. She let out another sigh as she looked at the empty seat next to her. She could feel her heart sink in her chest. The sound of the front door being unlock could be heard. Erin's eyes lit up as a smile started to creep onto her face.

 **(Let me love the lonely out of you**  
**Let me love the pain you're going through**  
**Think I've saved myself by saving you**  
**Let me love the lonely out of you)**

Holtzmann's body shook with anxiety as she reached for the front door, slowly pulling it open. Her heart pounding in her chest. Her blue eyes full of anxiety were met with green eyes that sagged from exhaustion. They stood there in silence for a moment. Holtzmann stood in the door frame, her hand still gripping the doorknob. She threw her body forward, closing the door behind her as she wrapped her arms around Erin’s neck while she buried her face in the crook of her neck.

“I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I haven't been home I'm just so scared.” Holtzmann choked out as they collapsed to the floor. Erin rubbed her back.

“I'm sorry to, Jillian, I've been shutting you out and you don't deserve that.” Erin cupped Holtzmann’s face as she rested her forehead onto hers. Holtzmann wiped away Erin's tears. The two stared into each others red and puffy eyes, lacing their fingers together, the room around them falling into a comfortable silence.

“Where do we go from here?” Erin started to kick herself mentally, wishing she hasn't ruined the moment. Holtzmann lifted up Erin's chin so their eyes could stare into each other, a small smile started to form on Holtzmann's face.

“I, Jillian Eloise Holtzmann, married Erin Elizabeth Gilbert for better or for worse, through sickness and health. I will always be right by your side.” Holtzmann leaned in and gave Erin a kiss that made all of her troubles melted away.

**Author's Note:**

> By James Arthur


End file.
